This article from Man Repeller is, everything. "Adult Friendships Are Hard. But are we bad friends".
"Now, as an adult, I have a job and bills and responsibilities outside of the universe of best friendships.
Time really does fly, just like my parents said it would.
With each minute that gets eaten by adulthood, one more good intention does, too. It is remarkable how quickly it becomes too late to send that card; that text; that wedding, housewarming or baby present. It’s terrifying how easy it is not to call or show up to things that matter."
AND. Um THIS:
"Not all friendships that carry into adulthood are hard; proximity helps.
Similar schedules and circles makes it easier. Not all adult friendships are going to last, either.
People are going to hurt us, and we are going to hurt people who we did not mean to hurt. (Somehow, I just learned this.)
But I’m positive that the friends who we are meant to stay with forever understand that. They are forgiving of our work-induced black-hole absences or when we bail because we need sleep.
They know that we do not suck. We are still very good friends, especially where it counts."
I mean, can I get an AMEN?
I feel like this every day. I ALWAYS SAY, I wish that I could get paid to be a best friend.
I wish that I could spend ALL DAY everyday texting my friends, sending them cards, calling them, supporting them, planning trips with them...WHATEVER.
But, as I've gotten older and have more on my plate (ahem da blog and the podcast for two along with my job, boyfriend...) I don't have as much time as I'd like to spend loving them.
AND IT'S SO TRUE.
Time seriously DOES FLY.
HOW am I 29 years old? I don't hate it (#almost30nation) but it's really weird to think that I am no longer early twenties, and I'm not getting ANY younger. Time now, goes faster than ever.
(Most likely because there's so much to do).
Also, the point about proximity and having similar interests.
I seriously feel that so hard.
For me, I see it as MULTI-TASKING when my friends want to hang, eat a healthy dinner, and workout. It's like okay we are going to do this anyway, so this is SO GOOD that we can do it together (since we're busy).
Having friends that aren't in your proximity, it feels like a win when you speak once a month.
To think, that speaking to someone I love only once a month is something I consider GOOD is crazy. Remember back in college when you wouldn't leave your friends side? Let along not speak for weeks at a time.
WTF is even happening during those weeks?
I do believe that now, it's the friends that let you DO YOUR THING, fully without guilt and without the "OMG did you DIE?" text that will stick around.
It's letting people do THEM (as adults) find their passion, cultivate their love (maybe in a relationship with someone else, or maybe with themselves) but loving them enough to...
sort of let them go.
But it's more like, you're letting them spread their wings, cultivate the relationship with themselves, build their life, and to ALWAYS be there for them even if you only speak once a month.
These are the ride or dies that have shaped you to become who you are today.
For me, I feel lucky that I get to travel to see my long distance friends most of the time. We do trips, bachelorettes, weddings, whatever. Making sure this time is QUALITY, is so KEY.
Less phones, less social media, lots of affirmations and catching up. It SERIOUSLY fills me up. This love and high, tends to last. Maybe more than it did when I saw them everyday.
Right now in Cali though, I have cultivated a CREW.
Babes who are down with self-development, health, fitness, growth and FUN. We're aligned with interests and hobbies, and we're super supportive of one another's dreams.
Real adult friends, ya know?
Can you guys relate? Let me know?
Also how GOOD was this article. Love me some manrepller.
Looking forward to chatting about this with you.