Talking about being HAPPY + my favorite faux leather jacket EVER

Why is it hard to talk about life when it's good?

Is that just me?

I was meeting with my friend recently and she mentioned (in a loving way), that I never seem to talk about what's going on in my life.

That when I'm with people I always shift the focus with questions about them and what they are doing.

That I don't often share anything about The Hundred Blog, Almost 30 Podcast, or my job (that I love). 

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I just never really talk about it. I don't know how to? What do you say when everything is just, really good?

Whenever I meet a stranger, and I'm introduced as a blogger, or podcaster...I don't have much to say beyond the basics. 

It pains me to think of being perceived as self-obsessed or self-involved. 

(I think sometimes think that as a blogger you are obsessed with yourself. That you LOVE taking photos of yourself and use the blog as a vehicle to share all of your glamour shots. HA. I would maybe say that taking photos is my least favorite part. I LOVE creating a vibe in an image and I love fashion, but getting ready and zooming in on 900 images of me every week, I'M GOOD).

It feels weird telling someone brand partnerships I have upcoming, or podcast numbers. Even with my job, I have nothing to say beyond, I love it, and it's good.  It's moving in the right direction, and I have wins everyday. 

But for some reason it's hard for me to share it! Why is that?

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Why is it so hard to talk about all of the good things in life, the successes and the wins?

It feels a bit like bragging, I guess? Or that you're making someone else feel bad because you're talking about the ways in which you shine.

There is a part of this where, yes, it's a good thing to be humble. I LOVE when I discover parts of others that are bragworthy but they haven't chosen to share. I always remembered that with my dad, I never figured out how traveled he was, and well read he was until I got older and I figured it out on my own, vs him telling me. He's been to over 90 countries in the world, but I never knew until I asked.

But where does humility become something where you're unable to share things you love with those you love?

I feel like lately, life has been going so well, that I don't have as much to say. Even on the blog!

Yes, I have my days, weeks, whatever, that SUCK. I got in a 3 car accident on the highway recently, which was pretty scary, and my hormone health hasn't been the best.  But, overall, I am happy, healthy, have enough food and money to support myself, and am doing things I love. I also am surrounded by people that I love. 

So, when people ask how I am, it's 'good!' and a switch to conversation about what's going  on with them, what's new and exciting. Honestly, I am more interested in what my friends and strangers are doing. I guess, when I'm in my own head, ALL DAY EVERYDAY, it seems less exciting to talk about the latest post or sponsor for Almost 30 Podcast.

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But when I think about it, having Almost 30 and the interviews I share on Hundred, are an extension of things that I am interested in, and believe in, AND involve others. The interviews on both Hundred and Almost 30 Podcast with AMAZING, qualified, interesting, smart people, I can share those.

But I'd love to work on finding a way to share and be open about positivity and good in my life. Acknowledging it, being grateful, and truthful about life, is essentially keeping it 100. Ya know?

I feel like there is so MUCH TO SAY when things are bad.

Your boss was mean to you, your friend betrayed you, everything went wrong, and there's LOT'S to discuss. Small talk, is often like that. It's musings and observations about things that suck.

The weather! Never good enough, am I right?

Even in California, talking about the weeks of rain, was a popular topic. But we NEEDED that rain, and it's a natural thing.

But, it was a conversation topic. Because it's negative.

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I'm just having a hard time, not feeling annoying, talking about all the good in my life.

Again, my life is by no means perfect, but I want to share more. Especially as I've deepened my gratitude practice (by writing down in a gratitude journal daily, and each morning saying thank you, the second I wake up) you notice more good. I swear.

How I plan to do better with sharing the wins:

  • Acknowledge it: This means that personally, when something good happens, when I'm feeling this good, taking a second to actually notice it. Take a breath, put my hand over your heart and think, wow, I am lucky that life is this good. 
  • Start small: Share things with those closest to me, and maybe even preface it with a joke. 'Life is good, I know it's annoying but I feel genuinely happy'. By the disarming, it gives me the space to actually be happy
  • Focus on the good, not the bad: When I find yourself in a conversation where I am focusing on the negative with someone, I am going to try to shift it, ever so slightly. Its' good for you, and it's good for them. 
  • Understand it's fleeting: The only constant is change, baby, which means that just because it's good now, doesn't mean it can't get better or sadly, worse, HA.

Any tips for me? How do you guys share in your success and the good in your life so that people can support you and be a part of it? 


What I'm wearing in this post:

DIE FOR THIS Floral Jacket by Black Denim NYC, fam. I mean how fucking amazing? The detail, the fit is everything and I get so many compliments on it. It's so good to mix the feminine with the masculine, and I am such a fan of faux leather baby.

High-Waisted Black Stretch Jeans from Nordstrom (these are like SPANX I SWEAR) 

Lace-Up Flats from Chinese Laundry

Free People Cream Blouse (on sale!) I wear this all the time. It's the perfect flattering basic.

Ray Ban Mirrored Sunglasses

Tarte BB Cream in Medium

Buxom Full on Liquid Lipstick


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Always thanks for being here, supporting Hundred Blog and being my friends!

Have the best Thursday, (almost there!) 

xoxo

Krista

How to be happy for no reason (REAL TALK)

'sup guys!

Love this one for a MONDAY. Truly a life changer.

First, how was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?

I worked basically all weekend, but that's good every once in a while! I also shot a LOT last week. With Danika my girl, for Ethona an Activewear line in Venice and then for a project I have coming up. It's interesting now with photos that I care less about what they look like - it's like more objective when I see pictures. Like, okay that angle is my hell, or like I should probably be more relaxed here, this looks good etc. Bloggers ya feel me?

So to the post! This is the realest and inspired by one of my favorite podcasts, Tara Brach, who does meditations and teachings that seriously calm and change my life. I would highly recommend the 10 minute meditation for beginners, which I linked in my meditation post.

This is my and almost everyone's life. 

Living, and thinking, I will be happy IF this happens to me.

'If' I get this job. 'If' I start dating this person. 'If' I get this apartment. 'If' I lose the weight. "If' I buy X, Y or Z.

Then. 

I will be happy. 

How often do we do that?

Personally, I find myself often saying that I will be happy once I: accomplish something with Hundred, make this amount of money, lose 10 pounds....

Once my friend Adam asked me how I was feeling, and I said 'I just want to lose these 7 pounds', and he said,

'You've always said I want to lose 7 pounds since I've known you. Maybe you should let it go.'

We've known each other for 6 years HA.

MIC DROP.

SO DAMN TRUE!

I'm just being honest.

It's the toxicity of thinking, if this happens, or this situation changes, then I will be happy. Until then I am living in limbo and out of this moment. 

I actually notice this a lot with my friends too. This moment, is not okay, but when something else happens, in two years, when I get married, when I have kids, when we have money, when I have this job... THEN I will be content.

But does that ever really happen? Think about when something in your life went REALLY your way. You actually did get that job or started to date that person...

You never stay as happy as you were when you first got it. Then, you find something else to chase after.

It's how humans work.

I know thats how I normally operate.

I thought this was cool:


Buddhism provides two definitions for happiness. One is defined in terms of our relation to an object, while the other is defined in terms of our relation with the state of mind of the feeling itself.

Please read below:

The first defines happiness as the experiencing of something in a satisfying manner, based on believing that it is of benefit to ourselves, whether or not it actually is. Unhappiness is the experiencing of something in an unsatisfying, tormenting way. We experience something neutrally when it is in neither a satisfying nor a tormenting way.

The second defines happiness as that feeling which, when it has ended, we wish to meet with it once more. Unhappiness as that feeling which, when it arises, we wish to be parted from it. While a neutral feeling is that feeling which, when it arises or ends, we have neither of the two wishes.
— www.studybuddhism.com

Basically the first is worldly happiness. Or happiness that comes with what we are experiencing through the senses. It's fleeting, it's when we experience life being a certain way.

It's happiness, with a cause.

The second, SUKHA is an unconditioned happiness that isn't dependent on anything. When people say they are CHOOSING to be happy, this is what they mean. You are happy for no reason. Nothing worldly or out of your control can keep you from that happiness. 

This is freedom.



Freedom is, reminding yourself that even without the things you crave, or are working towards - on this journey you DECIDE to happy.

Because nothing is guaranteed. No day, achievement, or 'it'. 

Things we want, we may or may not get, and if we weren't happy along the way, then whats the point?

So how am I applying this in my daily life? Every time I think about the things that I want or strive for, I remind myself that, now I am happy. On the journey to those things, or if those things never come to fruition, I am happy.

With or without 'it' I am filled with joy.

Deep right?

I would love to know what you think about this concept? Are there things for you that you feel like you'll be happy if you achieve or if you have? I feel like mines always been related to being a certain weight, or making a certain amount of money....what's yours?

Would love to read your thoughts!

Looking forward to chatting.

xoxo

Krista 

References 1

Tips of living with your boo: How to live in LOVE (plus my fav shades)

Wassup y'all?

I've been thinking about this recently as Justin (my boyfriend) and I hit our third year of living together as a couple. Now the jig is up and he fully knows how much I eat, how I don't like to cuddle in the morning (just want to start the day you know?), that I finish a jar of peanut butter every two days, and that his clothes aren't safe when I need something comfy to wear to bed. Roommate of the year, heyyyyyyyyy!

It's truly the BEST living with your boyfriend if you love each other. It's fun, easy, entertaining, and I'm always laughing.

If you don't love each other, what are you doing? That's like a real hell. 

(Same goes for a husband or fiancee of course!)

There's a true transition period when you start living with your person. It takes time! You're now together 24/7, you're sharing your space, energy and finances, and you're making a commitment that you want to invest in each other enough to see what the future holds. 

Before I thought I would "never live with someone before I got engaged", but getting engaged is the last thing on my mind right now, and especially in NYC (where we lived before) it makes SOOOO much sense from a time and money perspective. 

Living together was never a 'deal' to us. Justin and I never put any thought to living together than necessary. We never made it a nervous thing, or a scary thing, and did it, because at the time it was the right decision. Living in the NOW and not the 10 years from now, was the place from which we made our decision. 


If you're thinking of moving in together, or debating, just follow your gut. That's all I can say. You'll KNOW if it's right and your partner should too. Importantly, again, don't make it a bigger deal than it has to be. If it doesn't work, living together will expedite that process of finding out that this person isn't for you. See that as a good thing. 

If this person is for you, then this will confirm that, and you can start to build your life!


I have learned a thing or two about living with a significant other, with a boyfriend for the past 3 years. It's different than a friend, or your family by a mile and definitely super rewarding and FUN.

You are definitely going to go through a transition period, where you're figuring out little things about one another, and adjusting to the amount of time you are spending together. It's a LOT more time, or a DIFFERENT type of time.  

What I mean is, you'll see each other for a few minutes in the morning, possibly on your way to work, or you'll commute together. You'll have that time before bed, possibly every night and you'll find yourself together a lot more. As with any new roommate, you may have a rocky first few months, but let that settle and trust that you're just learning each other's habits!


Tips for living with your significant other:

Make the RIGHT time together

Basically you'll be spending more time together, as I said. Either in small increments or in large increments and this new time, will make or break you.

You'll LOVE it, or you'll begin to get sick of the person but it's essential that you make time OUTSIDE of your apartment or home to be together and be human.

It's a different vibe when you are at dinner, or with friends, doing an activity than in your sweatpants at home on the couch. Although you're spending more time together, you need to make sure to spend the RIGHT time, where you're dressed up, putting your best foot forward and taking the time to have a real conversation. I've noticed that, we have to make date nights, or take weekends away, to keep the exciting discovery period of our relationship alive. Although I cherish the nights in, relaxing and doing nothing together, I know that it keeps it spicy and sexy to do a date just us every once in a while. Setting aside time to 'date' your significant other, is KEY. This keeps romance, excitement and love alive.

I would suggest a date night, weekly, or a weekend away bi-monthly. Take turns planning, and learn or do something new that you can discuss and share in together. 

Justin I do a weekend away every other month, like San Luis Obispo. Or we'll do a dinner at a place like The Nice Guy, or a low key favorite like Bareburger.

Always acknowledge the good

It's so important through the various challenges and small moments of frustration, that you acknowledge the good and love in your relationship. Every morning think, I am so lucky that I get to wake up with someone I love, that loves me back.

What more can you want in the world? What you have, is something other people would kill for! So acknowledge that. Also remember to acknowledge when your boyfriend or person does something that you appreciate it. If they clean, if they cook, if they buy groceries or cleaning supplies for the house, acknowledge that and say thank you in genuine way, to encourage more positive encounters and actions.

(I'm going to be burned at the stake for saying this, but guys are like puppies. By encouraging their good behavior, they want to do more good actions because all they really want is your love and affection, period.  Also, each night, and each morning say 'thank you' to the Universe, God, whatever you're into, for giving me someone that loves and supports you! Cherish it!) 

Remember that cleaning isn't THAT important

Truly! If you have someone you love in your life, that loves you unconditionally, and is GOOD to you, then seriously who cares if they clean their dishes after each meal? 

I know it's a radical idea, but I think about this every time I'm a bit frustrated about the state of affairs at our home, or when I'm doing laundry and folding men's underwear and matching adidas mid-calf socks. How much Justin cleans, or how clean he is, has no reflection to how much he loves me, period. If I have love, that's all I need.

Now I'm not saying that you need to be disrespected and become a maid, but remember that it's not in a boys nature to be clean like we are. A trick that I use, is to start cleaning when he's around, and like huff and puff and sort of make it a scene, so he feels like he's helping me out by contributing. I'll say "oh thanks for helping" aka make him feel like he saved the day.

I'm insane right? But hey this psychology WORKS! TRY IT, LOL. 

I seriously don't hope I sound like a biatch but I just have to tell you guys how I feel, HA.

Balance your life, and make time for friends

I'm not good at much, but I would give myself an A+ in balancing my life with a boyfriend and friends. I TRULY learned from those relationships in college or high school where you are so obsessed and you drop everything for your boyfriend, your friends give up on you because you never prioritize them, etc. etc. I make TONS of time for my friends and prioritize them equally to Justin. Justin is, my number one, but because we are good and live a healthy relationship together, I know he'll be there and at this stage in my life it's important I solidify my relationships with friends and be there for these important times in their life, like weddings and bachelorettes, or any weekends together. 

Plus, it makes you WAY more interesting if your portfolio is diversified, and you have friends, do interesting shit and enjoy all aspects of your life, not just one. It allows me to share more interesting stories and maximize love in my life in general. 

Keep your schedule

If you're a morning person, stick with it. If you're a night owl, make it happen.

I personally, am I morning person, I love getting up early and enjoying my time, so I want to stick with that. I don't want to fall into a habit that's not me, and stay up late, get up late if that doesn't make ME happy. Although it's an adjustment, and we get up at different times so don't have that time together, it keeps us sane, and acting as happy individuals. 

Enjoy splitting finances and rent

I mean, self explanatory right? Live in that nicer one bedroom, or two bedroom because you're splitting everything baby! Some people I know get a joint credit card, and for anything needed in the house - they'll use that and split the bill each month. Also for bills too, using that is a good idea! Right now we just split with venmo, and do things one off. But it's a huge bonus with your partner!


I would LOVE to hear what works for you. Any tricks or tips or things you've learned since living with a partner? 

Also, if you're still with your girlfriends or living alone, ENJOY THAT TIME! Soon you'll be with your person, ALL DAY, and you need to cherish the moments alone or with friends. It's about being where you are - and honoring that. 

Just took these pictures from our day in Culver City, which as you can see as the DOPEST graffiti wall, truly my favorite. As part of our doing activities together, every once in a while I will ask that he does an activity like find graffiti with me - LOL.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this and would LOVE to hear your stories! Legitimately could write a full post of funny things that happen when living together. As an example, Justin hides the peanut butter, but as I find it he makes the hiding spot more complex. He says that I'm 'adapting' whenever I make a discovery - LOL.

Sigh. 

Let's chat!

xoxo

Krista

P.S. You guys have probably seen  my fav sunglasses - these round ray ban ones. I SWEAR they are flattering on every face shape! They are quality material, and just feel super dope. I would recommend honestly to anyone. My face is ROUND but for some reason the round looks okay? Not sure but LOVE.