A little (EASY) way to make your life (and others lives) a LOT brighter

Oh guys! So glad you're here, and excited about this post.

I read something the other da that I just LOVEDDD an had to share with you.

(& if you'd like, links to this outfit below)

A post from Jedidiah Jenkins

Who, is truly one of my favorites when I found him from Rich Roll

It's a post about complimenting STRANGERS

Yes, strangers.

Jedidiah is a MUST FOLLOW on Instagram. He is a beautiful amazing wonderful wordsmith, and he writes these LONG captions, that are so so stunningly put, it takes my breath away. Each one feels like my thoughts, just so much more beautifully.

They are poignant, thoughtful and true.

This one was one of my recent favorites, with such a beautiful message, it struck me to share.

(I know it's long, but it's SO GOOD! Read read it!)


When I see something good in someone, I tell them. Straight away. Like a reflex. Even if I don’t know them at all. This can often be mistaken for flirting, but maybe it is. I love flirting. But I’ve seen the effects of this and I’ve felt its effects on me. I am always telling waitresses how beautiful their hair is or how charming they are or bartenders how masterful they are with the flip of a bottle.

I do this because I have found that a compliment from a stranger can reshape my whole day. If a random kid says he likes my jacket as I walk by, I feel like a fashion genius. If my buddy says it, I’m glad for sure, but not as charged and giddy.

There is something about speaking lovely words to people. Our nervous minds are always trying to see themselves, to fish out the mystery of our own identity. Words have all the power. Have you noticed when someone is saying ‘this was my first impression of you..’ you perk up with wild interest? We want to meet ourselves.

In a moment of anger, an emotional pronouncement over someone can poison them for years. ‘You are a disappointment.’ ‘You are lazy.’ Saying what someone ‘is’ is like witchcraft.

For this reason, I tell people what is lovely, so that it becomes more of them. If a talkative friend stops and listens to me, I pause and say ‘you’re such a good listener.’ She might lean back and put her hand on her chest and say ‘I am?’ And I’ll say ‘yes, thank you.’ I guarantee she’ll be a better listener from that day on.

Words have power, to bless or to curse. That’s why I love reading them, writing them in cafés, hearing and saying them. They shape the world. What is a thought but words or feelings looking for them?
— @jedidiahjenkins

I can recall times when a stranger has complimented me, or me them, and it breaks down a barrier between us, lets the other one in and feels so good.

It's not being vain or concentrated on looks all the time. It's not that we only like how someone wears a shirt or their clothes, but it's the act of being kind and NOTICING another, letting them put their wall down to be appreciated out of random that is just so lovely.

It's true, when you compliment someone you know, although you mean it, the nicety seems less exciting. It's the usual greeting from a girl. The ice breaker to meet new people, "I like your shirt". 

LOL. 

But for a stranger, it warms them and creates a reminder that we are all HERE and this slowly brings the human element back into it. 

In a life lived through our phones, in a digital world with our heads down when walking the streets. A compliment is a kind way of bringing both parties back to 'reality'. Breaking ice, and the barrier between strangers. 

So, this week, my thing, is to SAY what I am thinking when I notice something I like. To  put that positive energy out there, and when I'm thinking something lovely about someone, to just say it.

Make their day, just by expressing what I'm thinking.

Truly, a beautiful concept.

I love it. 

Thoughts? Feelings? A good add to the week, no?

I love ya, 

xoxox

Krista



No vs. Yes: What gives you a more fulfilling life?

Oh hello you!

Something that's been on my mind for a while, and I was talking a lot about it this weekend.

(To that, my pictures are a little recap!)

So let's just get to it.

I want to talk about the art of, and benefits to, saying NO.

Seems harsh, right? Let me explain. 

I can remember a time where I had written that I wanted to say YES to everything. I wanted to experience as many things as I could and continually see what I could explore, do, see, who I could meet, etc. 

That was about 3 years ago, and since I have lived my life a lot that way. Said yes to people, places and things. 

I helped others (I volunteered at various places in Chicago, NYC and LA let me know if you want info!), offered my time, energy and attention to anyone who asked no matter what I had on my plate. 

Not that I want to change or move away from service to others or sharing my time and energy, but I've decided I need to get better at saying 'no' to things that do not serve me.

It's the opposite of FOMO I guess and I've started to feel it since I started blogging. After you find your 'thing' or 'passion' or even person, a shift happens in your life.

Tim Ferriss describes the shift,

To become “successful,” you have to say “yes” to a lot of experiments.  To learn what you’re best at, or what you’re most passionate about, you have to throw a lot against the wall.

Once your life shifts from pitching outbound to defending against inbound, however, you have to ruthlessly say “no” as your default. Instead of throwing spears, you’re holding the shield.

With all of the things people have going on in their lives, friends, work, passion projects, working out, hobbies and family...there's a lot to manage and handle. Now with social media, there's a continual and constant 'to-do list that never actually ends' at your fingertips. 

As an example, this is the loop or list that many people run through MULTIPLE times a day. Including myself. In this list, it's NEVER enough. You could spend endless hours and time devoted to each item. 


Check your personal email.

Check your work email.

Check Instagram.

Check Facebook.

Check Snapchat.

Post to socials (filter, crop, edit, repeat).

Respond to any and all, and engage with everyone you can.


The list goes on.

If you've listened to The Big Leap Show podcast, you know that right now I'm blogging a LOT more, and that means - doing a whole bunch of other things on the side to make that work. It's interesting how my life has shifted. It's a 9-5 in a different way. It's more fluid and in touch, and there is flexibility to say 'yes' to people visiting, to helping others, and to doing things I normally couldn't with traditional work hours.

However, as I've asked for opportunities, to come my way, without being specific, the universe has provided me SO MUCH that I'm stuck at a place where I feel prohibited by the choices I have to make.

It seems I've said yes to seeing anyone and everyone.

Now with that, I'm stuck doing X, Y and of course, Z.

In California, there are CONSTANT visitors. It's truly, the best. I get to see everyone I love much more than usual, but also, your life becomes a vacation with people in town, and I realized that when I was leaving a visit with a friend on Friday how I've got at least 6 different plates going right now.

The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
– Lin Yutang

The Hundred Blog, Let's Travel Morocco, nannying, events, friends, working out, family, and the looming decision to get a job and the effort that goes into that. I wonder if, with all of those things, how my energy is transferred and broken into each, that it's not as powerful. 

I can't even imagine if I had children, a wedding to plan, a super time intensive job.....(you people should probably be writing this post!)

Let me explain the struggle here.

Giving your energy to one task, and one task only means the focus and power of that full energy is committed to that project. With all of the 'yes' I've done, I have my energy dispersed into so many various channels, that it has to end somewhere, and it's probably not going far.

I realized that, in my quest for more by saying 'yes', that I am hindering my growth in the areas of my life which I should be excelling. By channeling, and saying 'no' to certain things, events, small things and conversations that I know won't truly serve me, there lies the possibility of having more energy in one place. 

To a better version of me.

When I am so dispersed to various outlets, it seems when I get to be with people I love, I feel drained and anxious because I have 'so much to do' and 'so little time'. I'm not my best self and I know it.

It's hard to consistently be on your game.

Thinking through how I would apply my no's is really the challenging part. I'd like to remove a few things on my plate, decide what truly matters and stick with that. I'm putting my phone on airplane mode for parts of the morning, so that I can focus on what I need to accomplish rather than get caught up on mindless phone related activities.

Derek Sivers, entrepreneur and writer, spoke about the "Hell Yeah" idea in his blog, which I really loved. Taking the approach of, if you're not saying "Hell Yeah" to something, then it's not worth your time.

Those of you who often over-commit or feel too scattered may appreciate a new philosophy I’m trying: If I’m not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, then I say no.

Meaning: When deciding whether to commit to something, if I feel anything less than, “Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!” – then my answer is no. When you say no to most things, you leave room in your life to really throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say “HELL YEAH!”

We’re all busy. We’ve all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out.

I'm sure there are such good tools and tricks to helping with this and I'd love to just start this as a conversation, ya know? To see what you do to say 'no' and if you have a hard time doing it?

Is there a way to best leverage your energy to commit to something with unwavering belief and free of distractions? What constitutes those distractions?

A lot of mine involves social media, and the phone!

Let me know your thoughts, strategies and how you see this manifest in your life. Are you in the saying 'yes' phase, or saying 'no' phase in your life? How hard, is saying 'no' and how much more time would you have if you said no to certain things?

Really into this one, so I can't wait to hear what you have to say!

Happy Wednesday!

xoxo

Krista

A MUST READ note from The Universe (to you!)

Hi guys! 

I feel like it's been a day or so since I did a DEEP POST - LOL. Do we like deep posts or no? Not sure just yet..,hehe.

I just had to share this message. It's been one of those that I sent to a few different people, but really think that it needs to be shared more widely. It's THAT impactful. This is the REAL DEAL dopeness. 

A week or so ago I wrote about mailing lists that you must subscribe to, and this email (I had to share) came from one of those lists. A note, "from The Universe" that I absolutely LOVED. I kept thinking about how profound it was all day, and wanted to share it with you on the blog.



If you can see it in your mind, Krista, it's real. 

All that remains is merging the present you know and the world you've imagined, which is my part. And you can best help me align circumstances, coincidences, and chance encounters by getting busy, going out into the world, and moving in the general direction of your dreams, even if only to do what your peers might do, who know not of life's magic. 

But you know the truth, Krista. You know how life works. Do not waiver in your march. No matter how humble your steps, this is how I will reach you. And as you witness one dream come true after another - first the small ones, then the big ones, then the huge ones - you'll remember why you were first drawn to the jungles of time and space, if you haven't already figured it out. 

Crazy kid, 
    The Universe

Um HELLO? It's like I want to copy and paste every sentence here and just throw my hands in the air 'AMEN' style. 

And you can do best help me align circumstances, coincidences, and chance encounters by getting busy, going out into the the world and moving in the general direction of your dreams, even if only to do what your peers might do, who know not of life's magic

If you can see it in your mind it's real. All you need to do is help to merge what you're doing now, with what you imagine. With every little step, every little movement towards what you want on a daily basis, you can let the universe know what you're working towards (what you see in your mind essentially). 

Everyday I need this.

Thinking of the vision I have in my head (which I need to get more clear on, truly) and then the steps that I need to take, it's not going to happen overnight. It's not like what you want gets handed to you without the little movements, the times you say 'fuck it' and go for it, and it just happens to work out.

Especially for me with blogging, I'm like this isn't up to par, I need more photos, etc. etc., but then I'll get a note from someone I knew in high school who let me know she loves my posts, and looks forward to reading them. It brings me again, back to the original goal and vision (and back away from comparison)...to be a helpful, kind place to share things I find helpful and inspirational. Because girls are more than just fashion posts, right?

I feel like, so many of us, have our visions and our dreams but when things don't move super quick, we want to give up and just go back to the 'same old' easy way of living. 

But, things don't happen overnight, and nothing good comes without work. 

Hundred.

What do y'all think? I would LOVE to know where you would apply this in your life and what you think about the quote. Any visions you have that you're 'marching towards'? That you sometimes feel as though it's for nothing? Let me know, because you guys have the dopest visions I know.

Alright, I love ya, can't wait to read what you think (now I need to shower - so gross).

xx

Krista