Tips of living with your boo: How to live in LOVE (plus my fav shades)

Wassup y'all?

I've been thinking about this recently as Justin (my boyfriend) and I hit our third year of living together as a couple. Now the jig is up and he fully knows how much I eat, how I don't like to cuddle in the morning (just want to start the day you know?), that I finish a jar of peanut butter every two days, and that his clothes aren't safe when I need something comfy to wear to bed. Roommate of the year, heyyyyyyyyy!

It's truly the BEST living with your boyfriend if you love each other. It's fun, easy, entertaining, and I'm always laughing.

If you don't love each other, what are you doing? That's like a real hell. 

(Same goes for a husband or fiancee of course!)

There's a true transition period when you start living with your person. It takes time! You're now together 24/7, you're sharing your space, energy and finances, and you're making a commitment that you want to invest in each other enough to see what the future holds. 

Before I thought I would "never live with someone before I got engaged", but getting engaged is the last thing on my mind right now, and especially in NYC (where we lived before) it makes SOOOO much sense from a time and money perspective. 

Living together was never a 'deal' to us. Justin and I never put any thought to living together than necessary. We never made it a nervous thing, or a scary thing, and did it, because at the time it was the right decision. Living in the NOW and not the 10 years from now, was the place from which we made our decision. 


If you're thinking of moving in together, or debating, just follow your gut. That's all I can say. You'll KNOW if it's right and your partner should too. Importantly, again, don't make it a bigger deal than it has to be. If it doesn't work, living together will expedite that process of finding out that this person isn't for you. See that as a good thing. 

If this person is for you, then this will confirm that, and you can start to build your life!


I have learned a thing or two about living with a significant other, with a boyfriend for the past 3 years. It's different than a friend, or your family by a mile and definitely super rewarding and FUN.

You are definitely going to go through a transition period, where you're figuring out little things about one another, and adjusting to the amount of time you are spending together. It's a LOT more time, or a DIFFERENT type of time.  

What I mean is, you'll see each other for a few minutes in the morning, possibly on your way to work, or you'll commute together. You'll have that time before bed, possibly every night and you'll find yourself together a lot more. As with any new roommate, you may have a rocky first few months, but let that settle and trust that you're just learning each other's habits!


Tips for living with your significant other:

Make the RIGHT time together

Basically you'll be spending more time together, as I said. Either in small increments or in large increments and this new time, will make or break you.

You'll LOVE it, or you'll begin to get sick of the person but it's essential that you make time OUTSIDE of your apartment or home to be together and be human.

It's a different vibe when you are at dinner, or with friends, doing an activity than in your sweatpants at home on the couch. Although you're spending more time together, you need to make sure to spend the RIGHT time, where you're dressed up, putting your best foot forward and taking the time to have a real conversation. I've noticed that, we have to make date nights, or take weekends away, to keep the exciting discovery period of our relationship alive. Although I cherish the nights in, relaxing and doing nothing together, I know that it keeps it spicy and sexy to do a date just us every once in a while. Setting aside time to 'date' your significant other, is KEY. This keeps romance, excitement and love alive.

I would suggest a date night, weekly, or a weekend away bi-monthly. Take turns planning, and learn or do something new that you can discuss and share in together. 

Justin I do a weekend away every other month, like San Luis Obispo. Or we'll do a dinner at a place like The Nice Guy, or a low key favorite like Bareburger.

Always acknowledge the good

It's so important through the various challenges and small moments of frustration, that you acknowledge the good and love in your relationship. Every morning think, I am so lucky that I get to wake up with someone I love, that loves me back.

What more can you want in the world? What you have, is something other people would kill for! So acknowledge that. Also remember to acknowledge when your boyfriend or person does something that you appreciate it. If they clean, if they cook, if they buy groceries or cleaning supplies for the house, acknowledge that and say thank you in genuine way, to encourage more positive encounters and actions.

(I'm going to be burned at the stake for saying this, but guys are like puppies. By encouraging their good behavior, they want to do more good actions because all they really want is your love and affection, period.  Also, each night, and each morning say 'thank you' to the Universe, God, whatever you're into, for giving me someone that loves and supports you! Cherish it!) 

Remember that cleaning isn't THAT important

Truly! If you have someone you love in your life, that loves you unconditionally, and is GOOD to you, then seriously who cares if they clean their dishes after each meal? 

I know it's a radical idea, but I think about this every time I'm a bit frustrated about the state of affairs at our home, or when I'm doing laundry and folding men's underwear and matching adidas mid-calf socks. How much Justin cleans, or how clean he is, has no reflection to how much he loves me, period. If I have love, that's all I need.

Now I'm not saying that you need to be disrespected and become a maid, but remember that it's not in a boys nature to be clean like we are. A trick that I use, is to start cleaning when he's around, and like huff and puff and sort of make it a scene, so he feels like he's helping me out by contributing. I'll say "oh thanks for helping" aka make him feel like he saved the day.

I'm insane right? But hey this psychology WORKS! TRY IT, LOL. 

I seriously don't hope I sound like a biatch but I just have to tell you guys how I feel, HA.

Balance your life, and make time for friends

I'm not good at much, but I would give myself an A+ in balancing my life with a boyfriend and friends. I TRULY learned from those relationships in college or high school where you are so obsessed and you drop everything for your boyfriend, your friends give up on you because you never prioritize them, etc. etc. I make TONS of time for my friends and prioritize them equally to Justin. Justin is, my number one, but because we are good and live a healthy relationship together, I know he'll be there and at this stage in my life it's important I solidify my relationships with friends and be there for these important times in their life, like weddings and bachelorettes, or any weekends together. 

Plus, it makes you WAY more interesting if your portfolio is diversified, and you have friends, do interesting shit and enjoy all aspects of your life, not just one. It allows me to share more interesting stories and maximize love in my life in general. 

Keep your schedule

If you're a morning person, stick with it. If you're a night owl, make it happen.

I personally, am I morning person, I love getting up early and enjoying my time, so I want to stick with that. I don't want to fall into a habit that's not me, and stay up late, get up late if that doesn't make ME happy. Although it's an adjustment, and we get up at different times so don't have that time together, it keeps us sane, and acting as happy individuals. 

Enjoy splitting finances and rent

I mean, self explanatory right? Live in that nicer one bedroom, or two bedroom because you're splitting everything baby! Some people I know get a joint credit card, and for anything needed in the house - they'll use that and split the bill each month. Also for bills too, using that is a good idea! Right now we just split with venmo, and do things one off. But it's a huge bonus with your partner!


I would LOVE to hear what works for you. Any tricks or tips or things you've learned since living with a partner? 

Also, if you're still with your girlfriends or living alone, ENJOY THAT TIME! Soon you'll be with your person, ALL DAY, and you need to cherish the moments alone or with friends. It's about being where you are - and honoring that. 

Just took these pictures from our day in Culver City, which as you can see as the DOPEST graffiti wall, truly my favorite. As part of our doing activities together, every once in a while I will ask that he does an activity like find graffiti with me - LOL.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this and would LOVE to hear your stories! Legitimately could write a full post of funny things that happen when living together. As an example, Justin hides the peanut butter, but as I find it he makes the hiding spot more complex. He says that I'm 'adapting' whenever I make a discovery - LOL.

Sigh. 

Let's chat!

xoxo

Krista

P.S. You guys have probably seen  my fav sunglasses - these round ray ban ones. I SWEAR they are flattering on every face shape! They are quality material, and just feel super dope. I would recommend honestly to anyone. My face is ROUND but for some reason the round looks okay? Not sure but LOVE.



NATURAL HIGH: Weekending in Austin

Hi hi hello!

How's the week? Glad you're here! Excited to write about my recent trip to Austin.

How crazy is May? I mean, jam packed right? I have been non-stop. From Austin, to Palm Springs, to San Luis Obispo, and soon Cleveland for a wedding...it's a busy ass month!

This past weekend, I was in Austin with my very best friends, all 17 of them. I never take for granted how valuable our time is, and I know it's fleeting.

To also be friends with people that are positive, supportive, fun, engaging, outgoing and smart - gives me pause daily. 

You are the company you keep. Period.

Thursday, we did the bars and karaoke. and basically caught up on things.

Friday we spent exploring the city, doing Rainey street at night. 17 girls at a dinner table, talking about how much they love each other and celebrating the bride at NO VA. We did a group 'cheers'  about fourteen times. NO SHAME.

Saturday was probably one of THE best days of my life. I hate to be cliche but it was GOOD VIBES all day. Like from start to finish, without a sip of alcohol I was singing, dancing, laughing and enjoying every friend (and of course the bachelorette!) 

Starting from our place downtown, dancing on our bus to Lake Travis, and ending singing Frozen, 'Let it be' at the top of our lungs on the way home, it was incredible.

During the day we tied up our boat to 5 others, but maintained control over the music, and honestly, our positive energy got us the award from our boat driver as 'the most fun bachelorette he's ever had'.

He's been doing the boat thing for 6 years, by the way. LOL.

(I asked expecting him to be like, 'yah, you're my third boat tour' - HA)

Through the day, I felt like, happy high.

No drugs involved but the same high feeling of joy and happiness. The rush. It's super interesting, because I don't think that 3 years ago, I could achieve this same 'high'.

Happiness is an inside job.
— William Arthur Ward

Let me also tell you, that I don't really drink alcohol. Like, ever. 

My friends all know this, and don't really even expect, or ask me to drink anymore. 

It's not that I am a recovering alcoholic, or ever had a situation where things got out of hand - but I haven't been 'drunk' in YEARS and I probably have a glass of wine, once every 2 months. 

No judgement, by any stretch, for those that do.

For me, I know that what I want from life I won't get hungover, or by drinking.

My body doesn't benefit, and I want to be HERE for life. I want to experience it, and not cloud or blur the experience of life with alcohol. 

I'll definitely have a glass of wine with friends, or with dinner, but it's just not an activity for me. At night, I'd rather be home in my saggy Lululemon pants baby! I work out too  much, I like to sleep too much, and I like to get shit DONE too much.

I'd rather not have my mood, my emotions...whatever, be controlled by a substance that isn't benefitting me in any which way.

But again, that's me! My friends, KILL THE GAME, and can casually drink, do their thing and have so MUCH FUN. I respect that shit. Do YOU.

So on Saturday I had a realization that I now have the tools and ability to control and CHOOSE happiness.

I can facilitate a higher level of joy than ever before. Sans alcohol, sans drugs. 

By feeling the joy. NOTICING and NOTICING. Elevating my happiness level by appreciating each moment.

When I started to notice how much fun it was to dance to PANDA on a boat on a beautiful day in Texas with 17 people I love, it's like I had to pause and think, 'Damn. I AM HAPPY'.

But also to pause and say, 'I love this. THANK YOU'.

And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.
— Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Noticing the moment, taking pause, and giving thanks. All brought me to a level of joyful bliss Saturday that was on ANOTHA LEVEL.

It was a good lesson for me to be aware that I control the joy and bliss in my life. There are times and places where I am lucky to have the people I love around me, but through the pause, and noticing of good times, good people places or things, you'll maximize the opportunity and, in the end, bring more of that good in your life.

There's really nothing better, than travel with friends to celebrate two people who are making a commitment based out of love. I love me a bachelorette. 

Right?

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy
— Guillaume Apollinare

So, feeling grateful, and happy to apply this to other parts of my life in the future. Excited too, to share with you a bit about what you can do in Austin.

I also was SO HAPPY to meet one of my fellow blogger babes, Janna Doan of www.jannadoan.com. She's even sweeter, kinder and more beautiful in person! Blog friends, are the BEST.

P.S. Austin f'ing rules. I couldn't love a city more, truly. It's unique, it's urban, it's a bit hipster, it's friendly and it's got the Lake, which is so key for me. I need to be near a body of water, always. Weird right?

Let me know if I missed anything! What else?

Love,
Krista


Things to do in Austin:

Go Boating on Lake Travis: Seriously do it. SO FUN.

Shop and explore South Congress: Cute shops and such great places to hang and eat

Have a drink or hang at Hotel San Jose

Go to Zikler Park: Get outside and even have a picnic! We did. So lovely!

Go Paddle boarding by the park: So fun! We kayaked too, which was hilarious.

Go out on Rainey street: Such a cute area, for drinks and dinner, an older crowd than 6th Street.

Shop at the Gypsy Wagon: Aka my favorite store EVER.

Plus shop at JM Drygoods. Sups' cute.

Be outside! It's gorgeous and green in Austin! So lovely to get outside!

Places to eat:

NO VA Kitchen

Lamberts

Perla

Voodoo Doughnuts

Salt and Time

Uchi

Torchy's Tacos

Pieous Pizza

Where to stay:

So I think there's new regulation against airbnb there, oddly. Because we had our airbnb cancel because they said it was like a brothel, with 17 girls in it and that was illegal. Not sure what that says about us, and taking into consideration that statement is sexist...I COULD GO ON. Anyway, we did Littlefield Lofts which were on 6th street, in basically the busiest area there. So dope! Perfect for the weekend, I highly recommend.

W Hotel Austin

Hotel Ella


A little (EASY) way to make your life (and others lives) a LOT brighter

Oh guys! So glad you're here, and excited about this post.

I read something the other da that I just LOVEDDD an had to share with you.

(& if you'd like, links to this outfit below)

A post from Jedidiah Jenkins

Who, is truly one of my favorites when I found him from Rich Roll

It's a post about complimenting STRANGERS

Yes, strangers.

Jedidiah is a MUST FOLLOW on Instagram. He is a beautiful amazing wonderful wordsmith, and he writes these LONG captions, that are so so stunningly put, it takes my breath away. Each one feels like my thoughts, just so much more beautifully.

They are poignant, thoughtful and true.

This one was one of my recent favorites, with such a beautiful message, it struck me to share.

(I know it's long, but it's SO GOOD! Read read it!)


When I see something good in someone, I tell them. Straight away. Like a reflex. Even if I don’t know them at all. This can often be mistaken for flirting, but maybe it is. I love flirting. But I’ve seen the effects of this and I’ve felt its effects on me. I am always telling waitresses how beautiful their hair is or how charming they are or bartenders how masterful they are with the flip of a bottle.

I do this because I have found that a compliment from a stranger can reshape my whole day. If a random kid says he likes my jacket as I walk by, I feel like a fashion genius. If my buddy says it, I’m glad for sure, but not as charged and giddy.

There is something about speaking lovely words to people. Our nervous minds are always trying to see themselves, to fish out the mystery of our own identity. Words have all the power. Have you noticed when someone is saying ‘this was my first impression of you..’ you perk up with wild interest? We want to meet ourselves.

In a moment of anger, an emotional pronouncement over someone can poison them for years. ‘You are a disappointment.’ ‘You are lazy.’ Saying what someone ‘is’ is like witchcraft.

For this reason, I tell people what is lovely, so that it becomes more of them. If a talkative friend stops and listens to me, I pause and say ‘you’re such a good listener.’ She might lean back and put her hand on her chest and say ‘I am?’ And I’ll say ‘yes, thank you.’ I guarantee she’ll be a better listener from that day on.

Words have power, to bless or to curse. That’s why I love reading them, writing them in cafés, hearing and saying them. They shape the world. What is a thought but words or feelings looking for them?
— @jedidiahjenkins

I can recall times when a stranger has complimented me, or me them, and it breaks down a barrier between us, lets the other one in and feels so good.

It's not being vain or concentrated on looks all the time. It's not that we only like how someone wears a shirt or their clothes, but it's the act of being kind and NOTICING another, letting them put their wall down to be appreciated out of random that is just so lovely.

It's true, when you compliment someone you know, although you mean it, the nicety seems less exciting. It's the usual greeting from a girl. The ice breaker to meet new people, "I like your shirt". 

LOL. 

But for a stranger, it warms them and creates a reminder that we are all HERE and this slowly brings the human element back into it. 

In a life lived through our phones, in a digital world with our heads down when walking the streets. A compliment is a kind way of bringing both parties back to 'reality'. Breaking ice, and the barrier between strangers. 

So, this week, my thing, is to SAY what I am thinking when I notice something I like. To  put that positive energy out there, and when I'm thinking something lovely about someone, to just say it.

Make their day, just by expressing what I'm thinking.

Truly, a beautiful concept.

I love it. 

Thoughts? Feelings? A good add to the week, no?

I love ya, 

xoxox

Krista